October 31, 2024

How a single conversation changed Natalie’s life

Chance meeting with Early Start lecturer led to PhD for play expert

Five years ago, Dr Natalie Day had what could only be described as a ‘sliding doors’ moment. Then working at Cambridge University in the United Kingdom, in the Play in Education, Development and Learning research centre, Dr Day was also juggling life as a single mother with two young children, aged two and five.

Professor Steven Howard, a lecturer from the University of Wollongong (UOW), was visiting Cambridge sharing his research at Early Start, but Dr Day had to pick up her children from care and could not attend.

Like Professor Howard, Dr Day had an interest in children’s self-regulation and development, and how it intersects with play in the early years of childhood. Her colleagues knew it was a topic of interest that would interest her, so after the talk, they encouraged Dr Day to reach out to Professor Howard to find out more about his research.

“I got into work the next day and my colleagues said, ‘You would have loved the presentation last night! You should email him. I never usually do anything like that, especially as a research assistant starting out in academia, but I reached out to Steven and we organised a Zoom meeting to chat about our research interests.  

It was a moment that would change the course of Dr Day’s life.

A former high school science teacher who had completed a Master of Psychology and Education at Cambridge, Dr Day met with Professor Howard when he was back in Australia. He asked if she had ever considered a PhD and whether her interests in the pedagogy of play could find a way to thrive at Early Start Research, which had been established at UOW a few years before.

“It was a huge decision, as it would involve moving to Australia with two young children. It just didn’t really feel possible. There were so many challenges in the way, including the fact that I was a single mum and I was worried about what that would mean for the kids’ relationship with their dad.”

Slowly, though, Dr Day got her head around the idea of relocating to Wollongong, a place she had never visited. One by one, all the obstacles she had envisioned melted away.

“My family and friends encouraged me to take the opportunity, and my former partner gave his blessing. My work contract at Cambridge was coming to an end, so I decided to take the leap. I packed up my family and moved them from the English countryside to the beach.”

She arrived in Australia and settled in the town of Kiama only a few weeks before bushfires engulfed the South Coast of NSW, a terrifying experience for a mother-of-two on her own in a new country. Months later, the pandemic shut down state and national borders. Despite the chaos unfolding around her, Dr Day found a sense of community and her children quickly settled into their new lives.

This week (Wednesday 30 October), Dr Day celebrated her graduation from UOW, with a Doctor of Philosophy from the School of Education. Her thesis focused on how parents can help their children’s self-regulation development through play.

Professor Howard, who encouraged her to move to Australia, was one of her four supervisors throughout her PhD, alongside Professor Lisa Kervin, Professor Fred Paas, and Dr Sahar Bokosmaty.

Dr Day’s PhD reflects her fascination with children’s growth and development, and the ways in which parents can provide them with the tools to thrive. She created a self-regulation intervention called Partners in Play, a program in which she worked with parents of pre-school aged children, and taught them strategies that help to nurture early self-regulation development

“As parents, we often don’t realise that the home is the most influential environment for children’s cognitive growth and development,” she said.

“Autonomy is a basic psychological need for all of us. But often as parents we remove challenge to make things easier for our children, sometimes without even realising it, and we don’t let the child make their own problem-solving decisions. It is our natural inclination to do so, but we need to let them experience challenge while letting them know that we are there to support them.

“Our guiding voice becomes the child’s inner voice, so what we say to our children matters.”

Dr Day’s own children have thrived since building a new life in Australia. Although she had originally planned to stay only for the duration of her PhD, her children have no desire to move back to England.

In many ways, Dr Day’s graduation is not just a celebration of her studies, but a celebration of her family and those who have helped along the way. And she is still amazed that a chance conversation led to a whole new chapter of her life.

“This is a thank you to everyone who has supported my PhD, who has helped me over the past few years. I’ve done what I came to Australia to do. I’ve achieved so much professionally and I’ve gained so much confidence through this part of my life.”

“I still can’t quite believe I’ve achieved it, but this is a celebration of everything that brought me to Australia.”