HSC parent survival guide

As school years go, Year 12 is a doozy. From high stress, late-night cramming before exams, last-minute assignment panic, and motivation meltdowns... what can you do to survive this year? We’re here to help. If it’s your first HSC experience as a parent, we have everything you need to manage this year without going grey.

Deep breath. That anticipated year has arrived. It’s hard to know what’s ahead if you haven’t been here before. For the most part, the HSC year depends on your young person’s temperament, motivation levels, mental exhaustion and that good old word, resilience... oh and how YOU respond in any given moment. No pressure!

Start the way you want to go

While you’re probably knee-deep in everything HSC already, it’s important to start the year the way you want to finish. Set low expectations for any help around the house from your student, strip back your own external activities as much as you can and set up support mechanisms for yourself; fill YOUR cup.

Communication is key

At various times throughout the year, your child may seem like they want nothing to do with you. That’s normal. Don’t let them push you away, but keep the communication channels open, taking advantage of those moments when their stress levels have settled, and they appear open to a quick chat. That’s the key: keep it quick and simple and read the mood. The one thing they need to know is that you’re there for them when they need you. Make sure that when they talk to you, that you’re not distracted. Parents are addicted to their phones as well!

Keep them on track

You need to become the covert nosey parent. Their brains are flooded with information, so it's a great idea to help them keep track of important dates, events, and anything else they need to know. Don’t overstep. It’s easy to fall into the micromanaging trap but just be their ‘nudger’. Use humour if possible.

Be their cheerleader

There is no need to dig out your literal pompoms. This part of your role is about helping them stay motivated until their last exam. It’s not always about pushing them to study more. Sometimes, it means a drive or a walk in nature, taking them out for a quick lunch, or shopping! These moments give their brains a break, re-energise their motivation, and help relieve stress. You know them best, so choose something to help them re-focus and relax.

Release the pressure

Even if they don’t seem to be putting pressure on themselves, assume they are (because chances are high). It comes back to the role of the ‘nudger’ - which is not to pressure them to get a certain mark or apply for a particular university course but to keep them going and encourage them to do their best with the energy, time, abilities, and temperament they have.

There's always a way

If the so-called ‘worst’ happens and they don’t get the ATAR they need for their preferred course, don’t panic. One of the best things about being alive now is that there are so many avenues they can take to get them into their dream career. There are bridging courses and college diplomas through tertiary affiliated institutions like UOW College, as well as the fantastic Tertiary Preparation Certificate (TPC) through TAFE which provides an alternative, and often higher ATAR equivalent.

Treats and hugs

If your young person has a favourite treat, get it! They need a hug? Hug them. Need space and quiet? Make it happen. Life still goes on for the rest of the family so treating them with a surprise token will make them feel special, seen and let them know you’re thinking about them.

Self-care for parents! You matter too

This year may test you in ways you’ve never been tested before! Don’t forget to take care of yourself as well. If you can remain calm and in control of your reactions, this will also help your young person keep a certain level of peace. You will also have enough in the tank to maintain this level of love and support well into November.

Don’t write this year off as a stress fest; make it work for you and your family. Think walks and talks with your own support crew, weekends away (not every weekend!), massages, exercise, gardening, music - anything that fills your cup.

It's their path

Ultimately, this stage is all about being present but also letting go. Let them make their own future decisions (with a hint of nudging). All they need to know is that you’re there to brainstorm, support, and encourage them – love them through it, and all will be well.

*Note: I have seen two ‘kids’ through various experiences of the HSC and equivalent. One went the traditional route and finished high school with the HSC, and the other left school and completed the TPC at TAFE. Both are now at university and on their way to their dream jobs... hopefully!